06.04.09
I know I have done some things to make my friendships a bit sticky but I am at the point where I think the best friends I had a month ago won't ever go back to the way they used to be. I am constantly walking on eggshells and I find myself just sitting on the sidelines, listening to the new inside jokes or stories of previous nights that I knew nothing about. It's a pretty shitty feeling when you find out all of your friends have been hanging out and you hadn't been invited by even one of them. I am at to the point where I don't know what to do. I start to think they seem a lot happier with me not around. I don't know what to do anymore.
I don't think I can afford to move out of state for awhile. Until I get a much better paying job that I can pay rent and a car payment. I think instead I will just travel more. I have Brandon in California, Jes in Idaho, Britta and Eden in New York, and for a really big trip I can go see Alexz in England! How fantastic would that be?
I really want to start pilates next week with my sister. All my friends that say they want to do it keep bailing out. I need to get in shape, especially for Vanessa's wedding. Time to be healthy.
I'll do Pilates with you, as long as it's on my days off. Haha.
ReplyDeleteBut I know how you feel about the friends thing. For awhile I jsut dissappeared from everyone because I was feeling the same way. But I won't let you dissappear. You can hang out with me whenever you want!