Jessica Moser.

5.28.09

Jessica and I have only been friends since about the beginning of this year and she made such an impact on my life. I feel so blessed to have made such a wonderful friend. She is the only person I am able to be my loud, obnoxious self with and she was always here for me when I was going through shit. I am really upset that she is moving back to Boise but luckily that is only about a 4 1/2 hour drive from SLC. She is such an amazing person and Imma miss her like crazy till I get to see her cute face again. I love you Jes.

Birth.

05.20.09

Life has been really good lately. The weather is finally warm and summer is just around the corner. I had my birthday party on the 16th. Lyuba and I were Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. So fuckin' tender. It was quite the party. I have wonderful friends for hosting it for me.

I have been talking to Matt lately. The only person I really talk to about him is Lyuba. She seems to be the only one that understands. He is doing so much better and really seems to be maturing and becoming a better person. We went on a motorcycle ride on Monday. It was a beautiful ride. I am glad we have come around to where we can hopefully one day be friends. Baby steps. No matter what I will always have a place for him in my heart. We just weren't meant for each other.

Chris, Cody, Ashley, and I are leaving to Sasquatch tomorrow night. I am so excited. We will be there on my birthday which should be just a fantastic time.

In other news, Jes AND Brandon are moving in about a week. I am going to miss Jes so much. She is the girl I get to be loud with and she has become such a good friend these past few months.
As for Brandon, I am pretty close to devestated that he is leaving to California. I know he has to do it and atleast I have a reason to go to the sunshine state now. But still, he is my Bunny and I'm going to miss him like crazy.

May Time.

5.11.09

Things have been pretty up and down still lately but, despite all of it I am really happy.

Go me.

Jennica and I are having a joint birthday party this Saturday.
Our theme is "Disney".
Lyuba and I came up with something great for us and I can hardly wait.

Chris had a keg for a fundraiser for Operation Smile.
He raised around 200 bucks.
It feels great to know we have helped someone.

Born To Make You Happy.

05.06.09

Things lately with some friends have been really stressful and not well.
I thank God that I have Shannon and Lyuba in my life.

They are the two girls that get me and understand my actions and
everything going on in my life. I love them and don't know what I would
do with out them.


I am happy.
I get my license soon in the mail and I can finally attempt to get a job
in aesthetics. Things are definitely looking up.

Life throws curve balls.

5.4.09

Life has been kind of crazy lately. Seeing Matt was one of the hardest things I have done since we broke up. I am glad it happened.
A few friends, that I considered best friends, aren't on the same page in life as I am. Since Matt and I broke up I have gone through some rough, crazy, wild stints. I can't really apologize for it because things just happen sometimes. I've been going out a lot more then I did and par taking in drinking a lot more but a majority of my friends do this as well. We all party too much. I think a lot of us are scared to actually grow up. I know I am. However, I finally went and paid for license in Aesthetics. It should be arriving in a few weeks in the mail. I am pretty happy with myself that I finally took that step into adult hood. This past week has really showed me who my true friends are. Who can stick through the really thin and the really fucking thick. I don't have a best friend that is just mine but, I can say that Lyuba is the one person I can and do confide too when ever something is going on. She helps me keep my head on my shoulders.

Cinco De Mayo is tomorrow. I am really stoked. This is the holiday I look forward to celebrating with Lyuba, Elina, Shannon and Amy. Things are looking up.

Healing Heart

He came to my work yesterday.
I wished him a happy birthday through a text and he responded with a thank you and it meant a lot to him. I was terrified to see him. I didn't know what I would do or say. I thought my heart was going to stop from racing so fast or burst from my body.
We hugged for about 5 minutes. It felt so nice. We caught up on each others lives. We both apologized for the way we treated each other. We still love and care about each other and wish we could be together and be happy but, we know that we aren't healthy for one another.
As painful as it was it was so wonderful. My heart still aches for him but I think now it might be easier to let go. I will always love him, unconditionally. He was my first true love.
We ended on such a bad note that it feels good to hear him tell him he loved and still loves me. It is still going to be hard but, I feel so much better about everything. Through that one year we dated we had the lowest of low times and the highest of highs. I would give anything to go back and change how we treated each other. Maybe we can be together in the next life when we are cats. :)